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VedicSoul - By~ A Bhardwaj's avatar

A truth, articulated with both clinical clarity and soulful wisdom.

Thank you

🙏🙏

gēnu's avatar

Love love loved reading this!! You are a very talented writer. We also wrote something similar if you’re interested in checking it out looking forward to reading more from you. <3

Dr. Nicole Mirkin's avatar

Thank you so much — that means a lot. I’d love to read what you wrote.

gēnu's avatar

Great to connect! Looking forward to reading what you write next :)

Michaela Dominguez's avatar

When I left my ex, I blocked him everywhere. I knew that asking him questions would give him an opportunity to lie to me and manipulate me more. To abuse me more. I knew he would never tell me the whole truth. I refused to give him any more opportunities to hurt me. As Glennon Doyle says, you don't “get” closure. You decide. It's done. You close the door.

Dr. Nicole Mirkin's avatar

Michaela, thank you for sharing!! Blocking someone who kept hurting you is an act of self-protection, and it’s exactly what I was trying to get at in this piece… closure as a decision, not a conversation.

You’re right: asking for more answers would’ve just given him more access to you. You chose to give yourself the closure instead. That’s so hard and very courageous. Not all of us have that will power!! I’m glad you did.

LaMonica Curator's avatar

“Don’t lose yourself trying not to lose someone else.” This is so strong. It can be a daily meditation about many different types of relationships, a reminder we come first when it comes to resetting the scales.

Dr. Nicole Mirkin's avatar

Yes. Resetting the scales. That’s such a powerful way to put it. We’re taught to preserve connection at all costs, but not at the cost of ourselves.

Brigitte Wangberg's avatar

The silence, oh my! Yes! 🫶💯🫶

Dr. Nicole Mirkin's avatar

Silence is usually the hardest part. No last word, no clean ending, just space… which can feel louder than a conversation or the pain and dysfunction of letting htem back in.

Brigitte Wangberg's avatar

I so resonate w the closure concept of "feeling need for one last night as "US" or "one last kind, beautiful conversation to end and move forward" ...Part of the cycle and why so hard to let go fully.. There is no closure to create in these relationships, I agree...Thank you for this helpful, meaningful series.

Dr. Nicole Mirkin's avatar

That “one last night as us” pull feels like closure, but it’s often the bond asking for one more hit of familiarity. The cycle survives on the hope of a beautiful ending. Letting go usually means accepting there won’t be one. I’m glad this part spoke to you!! love you girl!

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Nov 16
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Dr. Nicole Mirkin's avatar

Thank you so much. Silence can feel brutal at first, but it really does become the space where you finally start to heal. I’m glad this part resonated with you.

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Nov 16
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Dr. Nicole Mirkin's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. I am really sorry for what you went through and for the weight of carrying so much grief without the closure you deserved. Wanting honesty and accountability from the people who hurt us is so natural, and it is heartbreaking when they are not capable of giving it. I think a lot of us learn the hard way that closure is something we create for ourselves when others can’t meet us there.